she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
