In the future we'll all be gay
i think my tv is drunk
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
