It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
