At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
