Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
