Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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