We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
