In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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