Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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