Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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