I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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