So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
