we made out on top of his cat.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
