What did we do last night that was yellow?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
