love makes seman taste better
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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