So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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