Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
