Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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