I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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