I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
