Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
