i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
