im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
