Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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