No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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