I need help removing her.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
