sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
