Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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