You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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