The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
