I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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