dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
