He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I would ride that face into the sunset
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
