we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Randomize