We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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