So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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