who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
