you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
