ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
