getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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