you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
