I must be too annoying 4 u.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
