I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
