I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize