ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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