So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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