oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Randomize
