Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
