Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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