DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
