Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
