You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
