all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
