Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
