I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I look better un-naked...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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