so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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