so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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