did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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