A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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