I heard we made out
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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