8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
