this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
