No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
