Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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