Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize