It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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