my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
