Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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