i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize