so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
