is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
