how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
