so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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