I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I love having hate sex.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
